Well, obviously taking the time to blog has not been a priority of mine like I always want it to be, so I apologize for the big fat break in writing.
Our little lady will be here within the next 2-7 weeks (due date in 5), and as you can imagine my brain has been in overdrive with getting everything ready/washed/put away/organized/assembled/scheduled/etc. However, in true form I recently sat down to map out the last few big to dos and make sure I had a schedule for everything, knowing that it won't get done otherwise. And I realized: there is NOT that much left to do. Like, not much at ALL. Beyond packing the hospital bag (this weekend - eek!) and shopping for labor/delivery/hospital clothes and a few other items, she can come any day she likes. Knowing this, it has been a huge breath of fresh air to be able to just enjoy these these past few days and next few weeks. I can nap without feeling like I should be doing something. I can rest when my feet and back hurt after 10 minutes of putting things away in her nursery. I can put things off if I don't have the energy. It is w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.
Which has also made me realize how incredibly thankful I am to be home now. It took me about three weeks to adjust to being home full time, but once it clicked... I was all in. Sure, our budget is slightly tighter, and some days I'm a little stir crazy, but I feel so unbelievably blessed to be able to have this time to myself and to prepare. For the first time in my married life, I can actually keep the house clean without feeling like I'm sacrificing some other priority. We (generally) have groceries in the fridge, and clean sheets on the bed, and fresh laundry and clean floors. I think I've enjoyed taking care of our home even more than I've enjoyed being able to do my business full time (am I allowed to say that?). I feel like my life is finally balanced. I close my eyes at night and I don't have an urgent fifteen item list of things that hang over me like a black cloud.
And amidst my daily business/home life, it has been so fulfilling to be able to spend all the time I want preparing for our baby girl. It has been such a joy for me to nest and plan and organize and create a cozy space for her to grow in once she gets here.
Although I wish I had taken more advantage of this time for my business, I would not change these past three months for anything. And since the list has dwindled, and looks to be right on track, I am taking these next few weeks to soak up my last days as a party of one during the day, and rest and read and pray and work and take it easy. I'm sure once she's here everything will be turned upside down again - which will be fun and exhausting and hard and awesome. I will rest in this calm until then, and embrace the chaos when it comes.