This season of life has proven difficult for Logan and me. Have you ever just been waiting for the next season, desperately, clinging to every shred of hope that it will in fact eventually come and you'll wonder why you were so desperate in the mean time anyway? Well, I feel like I've experienced that twice over in the past couple of months. Begging God to give me peace in my current moment, then suddenly I'm in a different moment - the one I was longing for - and I'm right there again, begging.
I'm learning that waiting is not something I will ever be done with. There will always be something, and especially for future-minded people like myself, I will always be looking for what's next. The journey of contentment and peace in this very moment is one that I have fought hard through, and I make progress, but inevitably I take steps backwards as well. I know that God works through waiting. He is most alive in me when I am most uncomfortable, and I know this, but it doesn't make the waiting any easier. What is next, Lord? What am I working toward? Do you have peace ahead, or more rough seas to endure? I know I can do it all with His help, but the whiney little person inside of me just doesn't want to sometimes.
So I will continue to wait. And as sure as the sun will rise I know that I will be rewarded for my patience, be it with more life-giving struggles or with a season of joy.
There is strength within the sorrow, there is beauty in our tears. You meet us in our mourning, with a love that casts out fear. You are working in our waiting - sanctifying us. When beyond our understanding, you're teaching us to trust.
Your plans are still to prosper, you have not forgotten us. You're with us in the fire and the flood. Faithful forever, perfect in love, you are sovereign over us.
I am clinging to this truth. May I be sanctified in this season of waiting.